“If you’ve ever found yourself screaming at your kids, wondering, “How did I lose control?”, this is the book for you”, – states one of the first reviewers of the book “If I Have to Tell You One More Time: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling”. Aside from a rare exception, we’ve all been in this state of mind and experienced the excruciating pain of not knowing what to do when caught up in mixed feelings of anger, frustration, misunderstanding, guilt…as well as love and desire to make things right for your kid.
Amy McCready, a parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, includes twenty three tools for parents to use at times when, as she puts it simply, “something is not working”. Insightful explanations of the underlying reasons of parenting problems, useful tips and FAQs in the book reinforce the key message: you can encourage kids to make positive choices calmly and confidently.
This mindful approach to parent-child relationships in everyday situations is so appealing in today’s stressful world. After all, don’t we all want to bring out the best in our children, and in ourselves, too? The toolbox solutions offered in a book and in the program also help raise self-esteem and sense of self-control – for both children and parents!
Out of all the tools McCready offers, parents are free to pick the ones that work well for them. Perhaps some will find that they already know what proved efficient after some trial and error in their own lives. Yet having the systematic way of reinforcing the methods you have already selected as the good ones for yourself is key to parenting success. And so is having a parenting expert like McCready endorse what your found to be true for yourself.
Below are just a few of the techniques out of toolbox that we find most appealing and well-matched with yogic philosophy and secular mindfulness practices we strive to incorporate into our children’s’ lives at ChildLight Yoga and Yoga 4 Classrooms.
Mind, Body, and Soul Time: McCready recommends that we aim for ten minutes of mind, body, and soul time twice a day. She describes it as a way of “filling your child’s attention basket throughout the day – even when he’s not asking for your time – proactively and positively. When his attention basket is full to the brim, he won’t seek attention with negative and undesirable behaviors.”
Family Meeting: “Even while you maintain your busy schedule, you can create a sense of order around it, and keep everyone grounded in a happy, functional home”. The tool asks you to commit to holding a Family Meeting every week at regular time. Explanation of the importance of this is rooted in a conscious desire and ability to listen to everyone’s input into family decisions and any problems. A sense of control, appreciation, empathy and collaboration will inevitably follow for all family members.
Encouragement Vs Praise: McCready explains, “As opposed to praise, which judges the child herself, encouragement is a carefully chosen expression that focuses on the positive behavior or character trait a child exhibits. It reinforces the action that led to success, and not the final result”. The long-term healthy mindset nature of this parenting tool makes it stand out from actions that simply promote the one-time end result. Changing the way parents look at positive words is the necessary step before kids can internalize and truly believe in your sincerity.
We encourage everyone to select the best tools for themselves from the book, and also join the FREE one hour webinar Get Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling brought to you by ChildLight Yoga on January 9, 2013 9pm -10pm EST. Reserve your virtual seat today!
Parents of kids ages 2½ – 16 will learn:
• why kids really misbehave — it’s probably not what you think!
• how your personality may actually fuel misbehavior
• the 5 R’s of Fair & Effective Consequences so kids listen the first time you ask
• training resources to reduce your parenting stress & stop nagging, reminding & yelling